Eye of the Tiger (1986)

Vietnam vet and all around wholesome midwestern guy Buck Matthews (Gary Busey) is released from prison after being wrongfully convicted of murder. He hitches a ride back to his whitebread home town with his former cell mate Jaime, who happens to run a drug gang in Miami.  Jaime owes Buck a favor and promises Buck that whatever he needs is a phone call away.  Buck receives a cold welcome from the Sheriff (Seymour Cassell) and his friend J.B. (Yaphet Kotto) wonders why Buck won’t just move elsewhere.  Well it’s because Buck is a family man and loves the town he grew up in, that’s why!  

Our overgrown Boy Scout stumbles upon a biker gang getting ready to rape the hell out of Nurse Dawn (Kimberlin Brown).  Like any Eagle he intervenes and chases the pissed off gang away.  Of course the gang cannot let something like that go…especially since their leader Blade is portrayed by none other than badass William Smith!  So they mete out some greasy biker justice when they raid Buck’s house, destroying it, traumatizing his daughter and killing his wife.  Buck fucks some of them up all the while Seymour Cassell is trying to lock him up again so Blade digs up the dead chick and dumps her casket on the lawn of Buck’s ruined home.  If you don’t think the story for EYE OF THE TIGER is ridiculous yet don’t worry.  It’s about to get cranked up to eleven.  

Buck calls in that favor and the next day a couple of Cubans are on his stoop dropping off the most badass armoured 4×4 pick-up truck/death machine this side of TANGO & CASH.  Clear coat and chrome do little to hide the fierceness of Buck’s new beast.  Just when the mournful widower is about to put the make on Nurse Dawn the baddies bust up the hospital and kidnap his daughter.  If Buck was pissed before look out now.  Sheriff Seymour is up to his ears with these bikers and he allows them free reign so there’s little help there.  J.B. is reluctant as hell but grudgingly goes along with Buck.  Ol’ B busts into the town bingo game and tries to recruit help but “Who’s comin’ with me?” doesn’t cut it.  So Buck and J.B. go it alone.  

Buck roars into Blade’s quonset hut compound while J.B. drops dynamite and grenades as he soars above in his red bi-plane.  If you figured Buck and J.B. rain shit, fire, hell and metal on the place and make it look like Khe Sanh then you might be right.  Buck picks up his kidnapped daughter and the grounded J.B. and heads back to town for some unfinished business.  He slaps the shit out of the sheriff and hauls him in the truck while the rest of the deputies just watch.  They know Buck got screwed and was getting right.  He rolls back to the compound letting the truck take heavy fire and he bails out in time for Seymour to get blown the hell up and then he throws down with Blade and kicks the bikers the fuck out of Mayberry.  Spoiler alert.  

If you can’t tell, I enjoyed the hell out of this fun mid 80s vetsploiter.  Busey was a hell of an actor before his head got banged up and the action is pretty much nonstop.  If you’re a fan of the song Eye of the Tiger you hear it more here than any ROCKY flick.  The Busey is a fuckin’ tiger tearing the shit out of smack dealing bikers in this one.  Check this the fuck out.  It’s definitely one of the best in the Shout! Factory 4 Action Packed Movie Marathon set.  Also in the set is CYCLONE, ALIENATOR, and EXTERMINATOR 2.   

Alienator (1990)

Ross Hagan is the swarthy space scum and rebel leader Kol who is about to meet justice at the hands of the tyrants executioners.  The chief executioner’s (Jan-Michael Vincent) plans start to go awry as a visiting dignitary arrives a day ahead of schedule in order to observe the station’s efficiency.  Kol is able to take advantage of the brief confusion and stage a daring escape gunning down several guards before hijacking a plastic spaceship model and escaping the station entirely.  Then…only then…after almost fifteen minutes of raucous space station action…the opening credits roll.  As the plastic ship magically glides through outer space. 

The whole time the collar is somehow making him sluggish or groggy and he points the vessel at earth and slams into the woods.  We can’t have a Fred Olen Ray movie totally devoid of teenagers so a Winnebago load of twenty to thirty somethings portraying teenagers drunkenly crash into Kol and take him to get help in the form of rough and ready forest ranger Ward Armstrong who is portrayed by another three named so and so.  John Michael Montgomery…no…anyhow when he’s not busting hillbilly poachers he spends a lot of time trapping and banding rabbits.  When he isn’t, Michael Martin Murphey…nah…spends a lot of time in the ol’ standard issue ranger rustic cabin.  When the kids roll up Lou Diamond Phillips…possibly…comes out and helps them with their sick alien.  Ranger Lee Harvey Oswald…shit that ain’t it either…tries to figure out what is wrong with Kol.  

The pissed off executioner unleashes his secret weapon, the hunting unit or the titular Alienator who is the hulking female body builder Teagan Clive.  She begins disintegrating yokels left and right and lays siege to the cabin.  John Phillip Law…that’s it…springs into action and tries to drive the unstoppable alien back but has to abandon his cabin and seek shelter and aid from a skeptical Vietnam vet (Leo Gordon).  When the motley crew manage to neutralize the she beast they find out that Kol isn’t what they expected.  Instead of a benevolent being he is a selfish and murderous rogue who will try to win out no matter the cost.  Finally completing her mission the hunter unit returns to the stars.

The effects are laughable but ALIENATOR is a quite enjoyable sci-fi/action flick.  The space station escape is a whole lot of fun as Ross Hagan dispatches inept guards and even discards his gun and uses a sack of insects on one of them.  The goofy ship is also funny as can be and topped off by the giantess Teagan looking like the lead singer of an 80’s metal band.  Check it out.  It’s a fun flick on the Shout! Factory 4 Action-Packed Movie Marathon with CYCLONE, EYE OF THE TIGER and EXTERMINATOR 2.