The Boob Tube: Sexy Wives Sinsations (2013)

In this follow up to Sexy Wives Sindrome, Dr. Anderson (Melissa Jacobs) helps run a marriage counseling resort styled clinic where she brainwashing struggling couples to steal millions of dollars and ending up confused and clueless in prison while helping them enrich their sex lives and work out any marital and sexual dysfunction. Stalwart officers portrayed by Frankie Cullen and Cindy Lucas go deep under cover as troubled couple Frank and Cindy Sampson at Harbinger Clinic while trying to get their hands, and everything else, on some hard evidence. Needless to say Frankie and Cindy have to get close and pump the clinic staff. Then they have to figure out a way to try and get some information out of them too. Do the cops have enough for a bust or will the crooks fuck them over? Both? Keep your peeping holes open for this flick to find out.

Director Jim Wynorski sure knows how to shoot late nite skin flicks. His Sexy Wives Sinsations shows how it is stacked with well endowed entertainers. Current late nite co-fave Christine Nguyen (She shares the title and, in some films a whole lot more with Erika Jordan.), Antonia Dorian, the busty and beautiful Cindy Lucas, sultry Kylee Nash, and Melissa Jacobs could melt an ice cap with her sexy gaze. Stern Sybian jockey and alleged liver cancer faker, Raven Alexis is a stone cold stunner, brunette with a gorgeous face and rockin’ body. The male talent includes softcore stalwarts Frankie Cullen and TJ Cummings.
flicks always offer up some kind of story that is interesting enough to watch in between the numerous soft bang scenes. And boy howdy are there a couple in this one. He offers up no fewer than eleven scenes featuring some of the most gorgeous and busty women currently working in the entertainment business. Roughly every six minutes

I could go on about how technically sound the pic is likeJim Wynorski…Sam Pepperman is adept with the camera as it circles all of the frantic encounters pausing here and darting there. Anyhow I digress. I mentioned eleven scenes did I not?
most of the auteur’s work but that would be preaching to the choir. I know your just curious about how the bangs play out. However, I will point out that Wynorski is on point with the camerawork. Just check out Frankie Cullen pouring it to Kylee Nash and you’ll see what I mean. He doesn’t just cut between shots but allows the camera to flow around and through the scene and it is quite a great effect.

One struggling couple, portrayed by Christine Nguyen and TJ Cummings, are joined by one of the clinic’s cleaning staff, Lulu (Samantha Ryan), and she helps them work out a few kinks they may have had between each other. Afterwards they are successfully programmed and we find our intrepid cops getting to know each other before they go undercover they get undercover as Cindy and Frankie paw at each other for a bit. The doc decides to give Christine special attention as the two of them clean up and rub down with some chocolate syrup. Seriously, who doesn’t keep chocolate syrup in the shower? I have it and vegemite just below the body wash. TJ gets singled out as well when he has handfuls  his hands full of Melissa and Raven in another threeway. Hope you don’t get tired of them because there are seven of them in this fleshterpiece. One of the best scenes is Frankie and buxom nurse Kylee Nash. Holy shit if this isn’t one of the films hotter moments as Kylee looks like a pinup in her uniform. She really looks great taking a soft doggy pounding as she locks eyes with the camera. It’s definitely a sizzler. Cindy feels the burn when Raven and Samantha join her in the workout room for some lesbo fun. Sadly the girls do not work up much of a sweat but the scene is great nonetheless. Melissa enlightens Frankie and Cindy as she informs them that, “According to the Kama Sutra there are over eleven hundred sexual positions known to man.” An incredulous Frankie is shocked, “You’re kidding”  he replies but Melissa assures him, “No, with a body like mine do I look like I’m kidding?” The trio then try to discover some non-standard positions. Did I say threesome? Rounding out the flick are some great sapphic trios: Melissa, Raven and Samantha get wet in the jacuzzi, Raven, Samantha and Christine lap at each other to the best song from the soundtrack (all of which is by Roobie Breastnut) not sure the name of this one but wish I knew it. Other songs are Cream Sucking Baby and Pussy, Pussy, Bang, Bang. TJ and Christine reunite and are joined by Raven and finally there is another lesbo three banger with Kylee, Cindy and Antonia to bring the shenanigans to an end. And, wow, are my fingers tired. Another great touch is that more often than not the gals always gaze at the camera with a satisfied and playful expression after the action ends.

I caught this sweltering fireball of a flick on Cinemax. If you are fans of similar fare…and why wouldn’t you be…track it down and give it a watch.

The Boob Tube: All Babe Network (2013)

Ms. Comptom (Mary Carey) is the station head at a struggling network. One of it’s centerpiece shows, Hoax Hunters, ratings have dropped through the basement and she is forced to cut the show’s budget even further. The host Brad, who happens to be the station owners uncle, slouches home and his blond bombshell wife comes up with just the thing. New costumes and gravity defying bazookas will help lift the show’s ratings among other things. After another botched broadcast Brad has one last chance and to remove the opportunity for his boss to sabotage the show again he takes the show on the road and goes squatch hunting.

When his footage is erased he has to improvise and perform it live. Little does he know that as he is frantically trying to save his job that his quick thinking and Stacy’s (Jazy Berlin) golden orbs would lead to the top of the station ladder. The success of the one program lands him the gig of program director and he turns it into the All Babe Network as Compton had feared. In fact it could almost be called the All Blonde Network as Jazy Berlin, Mary Carey and Beverly Lynne are the three whose bountiful bosoms do most of the heavy lifting, or petting, whatever…One of Brad’s strokes of genius is to spice up a car wax infomercial by waxing naked girls instead of cars. While Brad’s star is on the rise Compton does everything in her power (which appears to be fucking men and getting what she wants) to stop him but to no avail.

All Babe Network is a real hoot. It reminds me of another late nite flick I dig, Broadcast Bombshells, but with a more benign menace. Someone’s job is much more inconsequential than a bombing! The story is brain dead but fun and the ladies are all excited to doff their tops and get down to business. The scene order breaks down as follows: Intern Joey (Eric Masterson) nails Ms. Compton, Brad bangs out his girl Stacy, Stacy cleans up in the shower, Joey and Brenda hook up in the truck and woods, Mindy (Christine Nguyen) gets it on as the flick goes meta and the characters on screen comment on her bang, Compton and station owner Mark (Voodoo), Mark and Mindy.

The gals are looking good in this Retromedia boobanza and all bounce around and seem to have a good time doing it. Mary Carey is still a good looking woman and probably would have made a fine governor, I’d have voted for her twice if I could and Christine Nguyen may be the hottest late nite star working. She’s stacked, taut, and toned and is hella fun to watch. I think she may be the new queen of softcore the only one who comes close is Erika Jordan who’s body is phenomenal. All of the technical aspects, sound, photography, acting etc… are standard for this sort of fare and if you are watching All Babe Network then you know what you are in for. Check it out if you like soft bangs and sleaze.