A group of shallow, unlikable 20 somethings get together to rekindle their college friendships at an abandoned cabin in the woods. The cabin left empty for twenty years because of the serial murders that took place around Cutter’s Creek (Hence the original title Axeman at Cutter’s Creek, which actually is an evocative title and ripe for building a legend around.) Sound familiar? If not you probably should go back to watching your Twilight movies because it’s the same fucking plot for about two hundred other movies made since 1980. Probably two hundred of which are better than your favorite flick. Sorry…Twilight rage off…trying to control zombie film rage…never mind this is a slasher.
The Axeman (former NBA pro Scot Pollard who’s almost seven feet tall) is pretty much ineffective as he smiles when he kills and generally begins the kill off screen and is standing posed as the camera pans to him…happened at least three times and gives him a very static and unmoving feel. He wears a rain coat and ball cap that says “Titties” I shit you not. He is the gooniest and most boring serial killer imaginable, the dude even shows his fucking I.D. to the Sheriff (Brinke Stevens in a blink if you miss her role) after he tells her his name is Bill (?!) and there is no explanation or motivation for why he does it. This ain’t Michael Myers, it’s some goober who doesn’t even use the weapon he’s named after for fuck’s sake.
To call the pacing uneven would be kind, this flick is all over the place. Tiffany Shepis buys it within the first five minutes along with some other kills then it slows to a crawl after stampeding out of the starting gate. Oh…spoiler alert. It takes an hour for any boobs to show up and when they do it’s in a “We need to talk…” scene as Tammy and Liz try to build up some slightly more than superficial back story but it’s definitely too little too late. This is pretty amazing considering all the characters seem to do is prattle on and on yet there is no depth to any of them. It’s also been a good chunk of time since the second person in the group bought it so it was like watching paint dry. Gimmick casting fouls up the works as Brinke Stevens is wasted in a small role and Tiffany Shepis shows up to sneer some as one of the comically disfigured or face tattooed bad guys in the opening scene. She happens to be the one with the tattoo.