Alienator (1990)

Ross Hagan is the swarthy space scum and rebel leader Kol who is about to meet justice at the hands of the tyrants executioners.  The chief executioner’s (Jan-Michael Vincent) plans start to go awry as a visiting dignitary arrives a day ahead of schedule in order to observe the station’s efficiency.  Kol is able to take advantage of the brief confusion and stage a daring escape gunning down several guards before hijacking a plastic spaceship model and escaping the station entirely.  Then…only then…after almost fifteen minutes of raucous space station action…the opening credits roll.  As the plastic ship magically glides through outer space. 

The whole time the collar is somehow making him sluggish or groggy and he points the vessel at earth and slams into the woods.  We can’t have a Fred Olen Ray movie totally devoid of teenagers so a Winnebago load of twenty to thirty somethings portraying teenagers drunkenly crash into Kol and take him to get help in the form of rough and ready forest ranger Ward Armstrong who is portrayed by another three named so and so.  John Michael Montgomery…no…anyhow when he’s not busting hillbilly poachers he spends a lot of time trapping and banding rabbits.  When he isn’t, Michael Martin Murphey…nah…spends a lot of time in the ol’ standard issue ranger rustic cabin.  When the kids roll up Lou Diamond Phillips…possibly…comes out and helps them with their sick alien.  Ranger Lee Harvey Oswald…shit that ain’t it either…tries to figure out what is wrong with Kol.  

The pissed off executioner unleashes his secret weapon, the hunting unit or the titular Alienator who is the hulking female body builder Teagan Clive.  She begins disintegrating yokels left and right and lays siege to the cabin.  John Phillip Law…that’s it…springs into action and tries to drive the unstoppable alien back but has to abandon his cabin and seek shelter and aid from a skeptical Vietnam vet (Leo Gordon).  When the motley crew manage to neutralize the she beast they find out that Kol isn’t what they expected.  Instead of a benevolent being he is a selfish and murderous rogue who will try to win out no matter the cost.  Finally completing her mission the hunter unit returns to the stars.

The effects are laughable but ALIENATOR is a quite enjoyable sci-fi/action flick.  The space station escape is a whole lot of fun as Ross Hagan dispatches inept guards and even discards his gun and uses a sack of insects on one of them.  The goofy ship is also funny as can be and topped off by the giantess Teagan looking like the lead singer of an 80’s metal band.  Check it out.  It’s a fun flick on the Shout! Factory 4 Action-Packed Movie Marathon with CYCLONE, EYE OF THE TIGER and EXTERMINATOR 2.

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