Repligator (1996)

A secret military experiment goes awry as government scientists try to perfect the next great leap in battlefield technology–a teleportation device.  Unfortunately for the Army but fortunately for the viewer it turns the tough as nails gung ho he-man soldiers with rifles into busty nymphomaniacal bimbos with bazookas.  There are a few narratives going here.  One which is the framework involving Gunnar Hansen reading his lines from a clipboard providing the intro and outro portion of our story within a story.  Second is the odd little bit with Dr. Goodbody which only serves to allow the good doctor (portrayed by Brinke Stevens) to show off her goodies and not contribute one iota to the actual story.  Finally there is the actual story of the experiment getting out of hand.

As the soldiers are turned into babes the babes get turned on and then turn into killer bipedal alligators.  So after getting sexed up by one of these foxy ex GI Joe/current GI Janes they kill you and you come back as a blue-faced zombie.  We’re almost talking DAWN OF THE DEAD blue too.  The star is Dr. Oliver played by screenwriter Keith Kjornes.  Soooo…when the writer is the star you can really expect some quality.  Good thing he included a whole bunch of giant boobs to counteract the giant boob he portrays.

Bret McCormick directed a couple of other flicks you may have seen-

MACON COUNTY WAR and THE ABOMINATION both of which have less boobs but are infinitely better films.  Gunnar Hansen and Brinke Stevens are the two actors you will recognize with the rest being padded out by girls ready to shed their clothes.

The special effects are the include the worst computer graphics 1996 had to offer, a recycled alligator head and gloves taped to a twelve year old girl, and some appliances and other bits of rubbish assembled to look like useful futuristic tech.  Needless to say the best special effects are bolted onto the female talent.  Unfortunately the most attractive one Dr. Hardy (TJ Myers) never does pop her top completely and just gives the camera a lingerie show.  Gunnar Hansen gives most of his lines with his back to the camera.  He may be reading off a cue card or maybe even the script itself.  Shit, if it was my part I wouldn’t have bothered with the lines to this thing either. 

Considering that this is a low budget sci-fi titty flick called REPLIGATOR

the Whacked Films DVD special features are a surprisingly good BTS featurette and an interview with the director.  It’s also fun to see the filmmakers totally aware of the level of the dreck that they are producing.  While they are aware, they do not let the film become self-aware.  Terrible movie with a fun premise and lots of boobs.  It’s fun for what it is but its not a good movie.  I may watch it again just to trot it out for friends in a “you’ve got to see this” and watch as they sit and grow more and more appalled.  

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