How to Score With Girls (1976)

The poster is a bit misleading…

HOW TO SCORE WITH GIRLS was previously released as CRY YOUR PURPLE HEART OUT.  It is a sex comedy that follows four GIs in their endeavors to get laid in New York City while on leave.  One of the soldiers looks a little like a friggin’ mix between Frank Zappa and Borat, no joke.  There are a a couple of honest to goodness chuckles in the flick.

They try several different tacts, most falling flat except when the targets of their passion accept cash or are underaged!  There is a tedious section involving a “vintage erotica” flick.  Oddly enough once our brave joes leave the theatre the fucking thing is brought up again and explained in painful detail.  The best running gag is that Steve is the horniest of the soldiers and sets up numerous encounters that involve his mustachioed friend getting laid while he remains frustrated and unfulfilled.  

This film had to be a tough sell from the get go.  A sex comedy whose protagonists are soldiers drafted to fight an unpopular war.  Add to the fact that the film was released within a year of the end of this lost war.  Now lets throw in the name of a medal of valor for receiving an injury while in service as part of the title.  CRY YOUR PURPLE HEART OUT was a risky endeavor all the way around.  Overall it falls flat  but it has heart and tries to provide a silly good time.  I wonder what PORKY’S would have been like with an overwhelming Cold War backdrop?  I dunno… 

The performances aren’t memorable and there aren’t really any names of note. I think I saw one guy in this in an F13 flick but don’t trust me on that. I’m not digging through the list of no-names to make sure!

The picture quality is poor, but Code Red gives us a heads up that the film masters were lost and these are from the best video master available.  Can’t complain too much because I’m not likely to see this come along on DVD any better.  This isn’t exactly a lost classic.  It’s not a great flick, it’s not a good one.  It’s a bit of a snoozer with a few laughs but I think the greater sin would have been to let the film fall from obscurity to the abyss of lost films.  This one’s up for grabs at Code Red right now as a double bill with WHITE RAT.  There is only one special feature which is the trailer for the top bill.  Check it out if you are a fan of sex comedies but solely as an historical oddity.  They may not be good, but Bill saved these for posterity if for nothing else.

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