Where oh where have all the companies like Crown International Pictures gone. Oh yeah. Sorry I forgot its the 2010s the 1970s are long gone. There is a part of me that wishes I had been older in the 70s dammit. But noooo I have to come up during the Reagan fear era–my elementary school actually held fall out drills, and I hit my prime during the fairly boring 1990s. Pre-internet and immediately post Cold War. Well fuck. Reality has hit me once again but I can escape into weird assed movies like BLOOD MANIA.
|The title sequence is frenetic fun.|
I would preface this blog post by saying the flick is fucked up, but that isn’t quite descriptive enough. It may also skew your expectations downward depending on a low estimate being assigned to the value that is “fucked up”. This movie is insane. From the dreamy yet threatening opening sequence at the beginning to the synth-pop to acid jazz score throughout. The sleaze just keeps piling up. Dr. Waterman is a very ill man; he is looked after by Dr. Craig Cooper, a nurse, and his daughter Victoria.
|Holee shit Greedo does draw first in this one.|
Victoria Waterman is buxom, tan, red-headed and basically hot to trot. She may look a tad familiar to some of you. Played by Maria De Aragon–this femme fatale had quite a few exploitation flicks including LOVE ME LIKE I DO starring opposite Peter Carpenter once again. But if you look closely, no not the tits, not the eyes…what if she were green? That’s right! She played a slow on the draw (later quick on the draw) assassin in a 1977 blockbuster set in a galaxy far far away. She delivers the goods in this thing. Not just the fleshy bits either. When it comes time to deliver the crazy she brings the mother fucking crazy. She goes from lusty nympho to stab you in the fucking face for just breathing too loudly through your mouth. Fucking mouth breather you had it coming anyway.
|Tit’s enough to keep it rolling…get it…instead of it’s…never mind.|
This flick is a meandering mess. After the eyeful of chesticles and psychedelic lighting you get from the opening sequence you get to watch the equivalent of an episode of Guiding Light with lots of nude nubile bodies writhing about. Not saying its bad the bodaciously buxom babes are enough to keep this thing on in the background at least. Its also kind of fascinating in the sheer oddness that seemed to inhabit every bit of minutia in the late 60s and early 70s. Dr. Cooper isn’t too concerned about being faithful to his wife Cheryl. She is just as bangin’ hot as every other chick in this flick, but hey its the 70s. He ends up hitting some poppers with Victoria before they fuck. That’s right poppers. Is there any drug that screams 70s more than amyl nitrite? Okay, okay…whoever said said ludes needs to go finish their Blatz and kill off the last whippit.
|Mrs. Cooper isn’t exactly a scrub.|
There’s so much ugly bumping going on its hard to keep track. I’ll see if I can map it out for ya. \Blackmailer:[Victoria}:Pool Boy] *(Gail:Kate). There. Much easier to understand now. Not too much fun bag olympics considering its a grind house flick. You’ll notice a few new names there. This will help round out the synopsis. No name Blackmailer comes out of the woodwork and tries to squeeze Craig for 50Gs. That’s cash dude ain’t got. The icing is he’s blackmailing Craig for his previous work as an abortionist. I told you the sleaze piles high in this one my friends. One key thing to remember is this flick was a few years before Roe v. Wade. Trying to help Craig, Victoria shuffle pops off this mortal coil by giving him an OD on poppers. Prior to the reading of the will we bring in the previously unmentioned sister Gail, a young blonde who is living in the big city with her lover Kate-a Mrs. Robinson aged experienced lesbian helping the hot young thing find her sapphic roots. Cheryl decides to try to help Craig by going to see Blackmailer. She offers up her body and he slam fucks her until she is crying on the couch. He tells her she was good, but not fifty grand good. At this point I think the earth opens up and swallows Cheryl’s satisfied yet dirty body whole because we don’t see her again. Craig being the gold digging manwhore he is starts taking young Gail out and starts banging her to the chagrin of Kate who leaves a hollow broken woman. That covers most of the trysts or as the star and writer Peter Carpenter would call the plot.
|It ain’t PSYCHO but its fucking nuts.|
The last fifteen minutes are given a good bit of press on the posters, in the trailers and in several other blogs. Here I’ll just remind you Maria De Aragon busts a mother fucking crazy nut all up in this bitch. The end is absolutely surreal and it ends with a bit of art and a scream. I don’t want to ruin it like I do so many other things. I want you to sit through this sleazy shlock fest and watch Greedo lose her shit.
|I’m telling you. She bringing the crazy in a hard way.|
Do yourself a favor and check this fucker out. It’s on a twofer from Bill at Code Red DVD. The picture looks pretty damn good and the disc has some special features on it as well. The other feature is LAND OF THE MINOTAUR. Its new and available at his brand spanking new webstore here. Also give him a follow on Twitter @CODEREDDVD he busts his ass to get us these hard to find flicks and he keeps the prices reasonable.