Indie Flix: ThanksKilling (2009)

Yep. It’s an ancient Indian curse incarnate as a turkey.

Clocking in at roughly 1/2 a Meatloaf song over an hour THANKSKILLING isn’t a short, but not quite a feature length either…well maybe according to Academy but I go with the 80 minute SAG standard.  Anywho its an hour and 6 minutes well spent.  When I was watching it I asked my pal Jason aka Film Dick where it was shot; because all of the exteriors looked like Ohio.  Surprise! It was shot 45 minutes from where my ass is typing this up.  How the fuck did I not hear about this through the grapevine as it was in progress?  I heard about the colossal piece of shit HORRORS OF WAR but this gem fucking slipped under the old radar.

I think it looks good.  It’s funny enough for sure!

This thing has the standard cast of characters, the jock, the good girl, the slut, the hick, and the nerd.  I used to hang out with this group (not the group in the film but my friends were archetypical).  I don’t know if I was the hick or the slut but way back when I possessed qualities from both… They are way too fucking excited about going on Thanksgiving break from college.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  One of the points the filmmakers make clear is that THANKSKILLING delivers nudity in the very first second of the flick.  This is true. What’s also true is the nudity is provided by Wanda Lust as a naked pilgrim woman.  You may remember her from films such as MILF DOES A BROTHA GOOD! and COCKSMOKING GRANNIES.  Thank goodness Turkie finishes her off quickly with the first of many one liners; this one being, “Nice tits, bitch!”  Dunno if I agree with Turkie on that one…

Turkie really fucks folks up

The gore in this is pretty good for a $3500 flick.  There are hearts torn out, axes wielded, folks get their heads blown off.  Yep, the turkey has a fucking shotgun. 

I was in tears at this point. Tears of absurdist joy.

Turkie works as a killer mainly because of how straight this thing is played.  The good girl’s sheriff father has a conversation with Turkie, accepting him as a human, while Turkie is wearing Groucho glasses and the sheriff is wearing a turkey costume.  Later when the kids get come back to the sheriff’s Turkie greets them wearing the dad’s face.  Once again it is hilarious when the kids accept a turkey wearing a human face as a mask.  

The hermit is a Ted Nugent looking woodsman played by a musician named General Bastard.  He tracks Turkie down seeking revenge for his murdered dog.  This guy steals almost every scene he is in. He pretty much is just chewing scenery and I don’t think he has any prior acting credits.  Turkie drops some great lines.   Like “You just got stuffed!” after raping the slutty chick and the now cultish “Gobble gobble mother fucker!”  

It may look like a hand puppet but its a fucking talking killer turkey.  Just go with it.

This thing is a fucking hoot.  Better yet the sequel is in production.  It’s set in space.  Yep, space!  Check this fucking thing out and when the sequel drops check that one out too.  Damn good time!

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