Cold Sweat (2010)

She may be dripping but that’s not her O face.

 If the studio folks within the closely patrolled borders of good ol’ Amerka can’t come up with some original shit instead of remakes and toy and board game movies Hollywood might as well fucking outsource there shit to countries with more creativity.  I can think of no better flick to kick this shit off than this gem from way south of the border, Sudor Frio, or Cold Sweat in gringo-ese.  Not even Border Patrol can stop this tense trip packed with lithesome latina bodies covered in glistening…nitroglycerine?  Yep.  Well two lithesome latina bodies plus the den of cannibal mutant women who were, presumably, lithesome up until they were disfigured.

These two fuckers are a lot more menacing than they look.

The whole set up is in the not too distant past an extreme right wing paramilitary faction of the old military regime stole some dynamite from the generalissimo’s boys.  The last adherents to this political ideology are two geezers who bemoan the state of their once great nation and lure young women to their decrepit house through the internet.  Roman’s ex, Jaqui, has dumped him. 

Okay, okay I can see why Ramon was hung the fuck up on her.

He pisses and moans to his broob (bro w/ boobs) Ali and she cyber stalks the ex and takes Ramon to see her.  Stalking is a bad thing, unless it’s for closure–I know, ask my exes.  Ali goes in the house and the pervy old bastards end up tying her up and seeing if she or another captive (if these geezers had hair there would be a bitch hanging from every one of em) could solve a riddle.  The inability to solve this riddle results in something that left me sitting with my hand over my mouth for several minutes.  It is that shocking and impressive, I shit you not.  One of the geezers looks like a left over Nazi from the Boys in Brazil and the other looks like a thicker version of Donald Sutherland.

She can’t run and he can’t walk it makes for a tense final act.

From that point director Bogliano does not let up.  Ramon and Ali are trapped in the creepiest most decrepit house in Buenos Aires still searching for Jaqui.  They find her half nude and covered in nitroglycerin.  The solution is to remove the nitro.  Pretty simple.  Just take off the few clothes left put something dry on and get to water to rinse off.  Since the nitro is so volatile Jaqui has to slide around crawling on her back.  This results in the most psychotically intense race with a bastard using a walker that I’ve ever seen.  

The flick turns into one big chase.  The Bogliano’s cleverly dismiss the option of calling the police with a bit of social commentary.  When Ramon appreciates the gravity of his situation he updates his Facebook hoping for help.  The premise of the movie is slick as shit and the filmmakers manage to pull it off well and with almost no money.  This movie has the hands down sickest most badass kill of the past few years.  It involves someone in an extra Crazies suit playing catch.  It also has one of the most shocking and jarring kills I’ve seen in awhile–the above mentioned hand to mouth moment.

My only real critique of this flick is the volume of the fucking heavy metal music.  Really guys turn that shit down and let the movie play out.  At least crank it down from 11.  I thought I was fucking deaf after certain scenes.  Cold Sweat is smart and sexy with a pitch perfect blend of horror, tension, and humor.  I spent most of the film sitting rigid with my fists clenched.  This is a badass fucking flick that should rip your face off, wipe its ass with it and throw it back at you.  Don’t let subtitles throw you off, check this shit out!

One thought on “Cold Sweat (2010)

  1. HBA Welcome Wagon…
    Wanted to let you know, you part of the Alliance. Please stop by and check to make sure your link is correct. Remember to say Thank You and visit the other HBA Members.

    If there was something I was suppose to do for you, please remind me… I was extra busy in the month of April.

    Jeremy [Retro-Zombie]
    Visit The Madness:
    HBA Curator


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.